The Bell Test
by HanareHatake
Summary: AU Hanare is a sassy kunoichi big on attitude and short on attention span, good grades, and long-term relationships. This year, though, she's put into the remedial training program - with none other than Kakashi as her sensei! No risk, no reward unless old friends get out of a rut in this feel-good oneshot. KAKAHANA / AU / OOC / LEMON


The Bell Test

Delinquent chunin Hanare is scheduled for remedial training with none other than the Leaf's famous silver-haired jonin (and her longtime friend) Kakashi Hatake. If love is a battlefield, the Friend Zone is torture… but luckily spies are prepared for that! A ninja must see through deception-but in this re-training exercise, who's deceiving who?

Happy holiday season! Hope it is filled with warmth, hope, and laughter. Matta neh!

…

 **Office Hours**

"AAARGH!" Hiruzen screamed and jumped up - what was this on his Hokage chair…?! The Third Fire Shadow reached under his butt and pulled out… a huge, very dead, very squishy _newt_.

The green-haired kunoichi standing in front of him snickered. She twirled a kunai clumsily in her left hand.

"Hanare!" Hiruzen Sarutobi glared at the irreverent chunin. Sandaime Hiruzen was one of the most respected shinobi of his time, an incredibly powerful and multi-talented jonin who was also beloved (for the most part… there were a couple notable exceptions) by his peers and all his students alike. A natural leader and warm personality, Hiruzen was treated with respect and affection by most of the Leaf. Only his son Asuma, young Naruto, and this adopted Key ninja Hanare ever gave him much trouble.

Hanare was originally from Jomae-the Hidden Lock Village in the Land of Key. Apparently orphaned, she'd been found one day wandering the valley by adolescent Konoha prodigy Kakashi Hatake. The academically-precocious youth, already a jonin, had made the decision to bring the little girl back to the Leaf Village.

Hiruzen sighed, remembering. She had seemed so innocent then. Kakashi had stood right there, cool and calm in his trademark mask. "She's all alone," the silver-haired boy had said. "I know. I checked her village. Everyone was dead. I didn't recognize the marks or weapons." He'd held out a strange-looking knife for the Hokage to examine. Hanare's eyes had been wide as saucers. She was a pretty girl, who'd grown into a beautiful woman.

A very _troublesome_ woman! Hiruzen grunted in disapproval. "You're too old for such pranks," he said, passing judgment as he puffed on his pipe.

"You're too old to be sneaking around the women's side of the bath house!" Hanare replied, winking. Hiruzen froze. He was sure he'd been most discreet this time, and only when the older ladies were there… the "Old Man Hokage" cleared his throat.

"We're not here to discuss me," he intoned gruffly, waving his hand. Hanare rolled her eyes. After she'd been adopted into the Leaf, she'd been raised by the Harunos, who already had a younger daughter named Sakura. Hiruzen had thought it a good fit at the time, but now he wondered if he'd been mistaken. Perhaps a _calmer,_ more conventional household would have been a wiser choice…

"Can you get to the point then already, O.M.H.? I told Anko I'd meet her for dango." Hanare was leaning over, looking out the window of the Hokage office, her butt dangerously close to knocking over a stack of important papers on a cabinet.

"Mitarashi should find older girls to hang out with," Hiruzen sighed, reaching out to steady the paperwork and then thinking better of it and retracting his hand. Hanare could move quite suddenly at times... "Well, Hanare. Yearly reviews are in and once again your performance as a Leaf ninja leaves much to be desired."

"Puh!" Hanare snorted, whirling around and taking out the stack of files with a switch of her hip. "Those reviews don't count the things that _matter._ " She planted her hands on the Hokage desk and tried to peek at the document Hiruzen was holding.

"Insubordination. Failure to complete mission. Insulting a client." Hiruzen read from her file in a monotone.

"That scumbag _client_ tried to grab my ass!" Hanare snapped. Hiruzen raised an eyebrow.

"This is a note from Iruka sensei that says you drunkenly sat on his lap at the holiday party and-"

"Pfff, I wasn't _that_ drunk," Hanare grinned.

"Hanare! Iruka prefers the company of men. I won't allow harassment of Academy staff, no matter how innocent your intentions might be…"

"Oh, but I can get harassed by clients because they're _paying_ , right?"

Hiruzen ignored that and flipped to the next page of the file. "According to Guy sensei, your taijutsu is the worst we've seen in over a decade. And that's counting the genin!"

Hanare shrugged. She hopped up and _sat_ on the Hokage desk. "Taijutsu makes me sweaty. And Guy sensei wears so much cologne and hair pomade that I can't breathe for the fumes when I'm around him. Everytime I'm on his squad or in one of his trainings I feel like I'm going to pass out!"

"This is an excerpt from a mission report by Kakashi," Hiruzen continued. Hanare froze. The old Hokage scratched his chin. "Hm, Hatake actually filed a mission report…? How strange. Maybe he's coming around on that… never too late to improve one's weaknesses, Hanare. Anyway, it says: _Haruno, Hanare: repeatedly tried to steal my personal effects (books) and refused to stay in uniform…_ Hanare!" The elder Sarutobi gave the spitfire on his desk an intense glower.

"I was trying to give him a free autograph… and it was a hundred degrees that mission, Hiroozy. I just wanted to take a dip in the..."

"Autograph, eh? That's a good segue into the issue of you agreeing to model for that book cover in the first place, young lady! Surely you know the content of those… ah… _works_ which Jiraiya produces and what it would do to your reputation to appear on..."

"So Cocky Hot-a-bae can read that smut wherever he wants - including in front of underage students _like my sister_ \- but _I_ am the one who gets in trouble for taking a legitimate gig to model for one of the san-nin..."

 _POOF_

A cloud of smoke appeared in front of the Hokage's desk. Hiruzen took a deep puff of pipe. Hanare startled slightly. The smoke cleared. The poof turned out to be none other than Kakashi Hatake himself. Hanare's eyes widened and she quickly looked away, pretending to examine a bamboo pen she found on the desk.

Kakashi's distinguishing hair stuck up in an unruly style above the headband and forehead protector that covered his left eye. A dark cloth ninja mask hid the lower half of his face. Clad in the standard navy blue and green flak uniform, the tall, sharingan-wielding, sterling-coiffed "genius" of the Leaf-widely regarded as one of the top shinobi in all five Great Nations-looked drowsily at the Hokage and the emerald-haired woman on his desk.

"Sorry I'm late, I..." Kakashi said.

"What's a _hotabae…_?" Hiruzen said.

Hanare knocked another stack of papers off the desk. "Oops, clumsy me!" she said, smiling in embarrassment at Sandaime and avoiding looking at the jonin who'd just appeared. The Third sighed again in resignation.

"Fine timing, Kakashi. I'm glad you're here. Hanare, I'm sure you've heard by now that Jonin Hatake is taking on some additional teaching duties. Namely, the Remedial Program…"

Hanare giggled. "Sure I heard! The _special_ program… Kakashi's Class for Flunkies, right? That should be fun, being stuck teaching those losers..." suddenly the kunoichi's caramel-colored eyes widened. She turned furiously on Hiruzen. "Gramps, wait! Why is _he_ here? You can't mean...!"

Hiruzen chuckled. "Yes, Hanare. Tomorrow you start training with… what did you call him? Cocky..."

"Ssssh!" Hanare snapped. She hung her head. Kakashi watched the scene with curiosity. Hiruzen was leaning back in his chair, eyes nearly closed in sleepy satisfaction as he puffed on his pipe. Hanare was sitting on the desk, staring down at her knees. She was wearing a Konoha dress shirt under a flak vest, but the shirt was unbuttoned inappropriately low so you could see the ninja mesh peeking out below a hint of cleavage. The mesh wasn't intended to protect the bosom in this case, apparently...

Hanare's dark green hair was down and tousled over her shoulders. The shorts she was wearing were shorter than Tsubaki's. Kakashi knew to look for those because Asuma had mentioned it several times. " _If I could just get her to bend over… I tried throwing a kunai her way but she kicked it back to me instead..._ " the younger Sarutobi had said at one point.

Kakashi's face showed pure boredom. "Hello, Hanare," he said. She mumbled something and waved, not looking at him. Her cheeks were pink. Kakashi put one hand in his pocket. "Shall we say… 5 a.m. tomorrow, then?"

Hanare looked up at that. "No. Way too early." Hiruzen raised an eyebrow at her tone. Hanare was already being insubordinate. Kakashi stiffened.

" _I_ make the rules," he said coolly.

"Mmm yes… I've heard that," Hanare gave him a sidelong glance. "But Sakura also said you told Team 7 to show up at 5 but didn't get there till 11." The green-haired kunoichi was smiling like a cat who'd caught a bird.

Kakashi shrugged. "If you're not there at 5 I suppose I can just fail you, and recommend you go back to Iruka sensei's class," he said casually. "You can be the oldest pre-genin in Konoha's history. Who knows… he might give you an easy A if you sit on his lap enough times."

Hanare turned scarlet. She shot Kakashi a venomous glare. The jonin stood at ease, looking nothing but disinterested. Hiruzen cleared his throat. "Now Kakashi, are you sure that's appropriate?"

"This is all your fault anyway," Hanare hissed at the Hokage. Hiruzen chuckled.

"I'd say it was Kakashi's fault, for bringing you to Konohagakure in the first place."

"Fault? It was the right thing to do." Kakashi's irritation showed only in a slight tension in his eyebrow.

"Yes, yes, and no good deed goes unpunished." Hiruzen was nonplussed. "Now you can take responsibility, Kakashi. And help Hanare achieve her full potential as part of the Leaf."

"5 a.m." Kakashi said.

"I have plans tonight," Hanare tried plaintively. "Can't it be 7 or 8?"

"What's that?" Hiruzen grunted, ready for a nap.

" _Plans_ ," Hanare said. "With Aoba. He's taking me to a..."

"Cancel," Kakashi said. His dark eye didn't even twitch below his half-lowered lid. The other eye, his blood-red sharingan, was covered by his tilted headband. He was leaning back slightly, staring down at the girl on the desk. This "remedial" teaching was already a pain and he hadn't even started yet. Hanare lifted her gaze to meet his. The beauty mark under her right eye hadn't faded at all over the years. She crossed one leg over the other as she sighed, dropping eye contact with Kakashi.

"5 a.m." The kunoichi conceded quietly, lifting her hands to do up a couple buttons on her shirt. Kakashi was silent a moment, then he nodded, and _poofed_ away.

…

 **Taijutsu**

It was a cool morning. The season was just starting to turn from late summer to fall, and things were both intensely green and dry-tinder brown at the same time. The grass crunched beneath Kakashi's foot. A breeze stole a few leaves from a nearby tree and scattered them like emeralds in his direction. Was she here…?

Yeah. There, a slight figure sitting on one of the dummy posts. The sun wasn't even up yet, and she was wearing something dark, making it hard to pick her out of the scenery. It was a good first impression.

Kakashi walked unhurriedly across the field. Hanare's head perked up almost immediately and turned in his direction. When she saw it was him, she waved. Kakashi gave an indiscernible nod of approval as he ambled toward her. Hanare had been kind of slouched atop the post; now she changed her position so she was sitting perched on it with her legs dangling and her hands on her knees. At least this student seemed eager… or something.

"I'm disappointed in you," Hanare said as soon as Kakashi was in earshot. The jonin approached the dummy posts, looking bored. "I'd heard you were _always_ late-" Hanare raised an eyebrow. She glanced down and pulled up her sleeve to check the time on a really nice, sporty wristwatch. "But here it is, 4:59 a.m. and I'm graced with the presence of Kakashi Hatake. Kakashi of the Sharingan! Kakashi, Man Who Copied a Thousand-"

"What's your point," Kakashi interrupted, coming to a stop in front of her post. He looked up at the kunoichi, keeping his hands resting in his pants pockets.

Hanare was quiet a moment. Then she shrugged. "My point? That I'm glad to see you, I guess." She looked past him toward the eastern horizon. "The sun'll come up soon. It's always better when you don't have to watch the sun do its thing alone, right?"

Kakashi said nothing-it wasn't what he'd expected. His gaze slid surreptitiously over his new "pupil." Hanare was wearing a completely different outfit than she'd had on in the Hokage's office. The tiny shorts and dress shirt were gone, replaced by a black full-body stretchy suit of some kind. She was wearing the shinobi sandals and fingerless gloves common to the Leaf, a flak vest and a utility belt/thigh harness contraption that held a pouch and short katana, at least from what he could see. Her hair had been down and loose yesterday… today it was in a ponytail that pulled it completely away from her face.

Kakashi glanced in the direction she was looking. A faint glow along the ridgeline told him sunrise was indeed imminent. Hanare's light brown eyes were trained intently on the sky.

"I guess we can start after the sun comes up," Kakashi said. He made a sign and _poofed_ onto the post next to Hanare. He sat down and drew up one knee, pulling _Icha Icha_ _Paradise_ out of his pocket.

"It's too dark to read that," Hanare said without looking at him.

"I know." Kakashi just held the book open in the hand dangling over his knee. He watched the mountains.

"In true jonin style, you just like to be prepared." Now Hanare did look over at him, a smirk on her lips. "Prepared to be able to _pretend_ to read whenever it might be necessary."

Kakashi didn't return her gaze. His thumb idly traced the edge of the book and he said nothing. Hanare grinned in the lightening dark and went back to staring at the sky. The glow in the east was palest orange, with hints of violet starting in the deep blue above. It looked like there might be a few clouds, way up by the stars.

They sat in silence as the sun's rays slowly turned the night back. Finally, the sky was silvery with a powdery baby blue underneath. Some clouds stayed with the hazy pink sun of early morning, and Hanare thought she saw one that looked like…

"Water dragon jutsu!" she giggled, pointing it out to Kakashi. The jonin's dark exposed eye rotated to where she was gesturing. He studied it a moment.

"No. That's more Guy, seasick."

Hanare laughed. She gazed up at the sky a little longer, eyes bright. Like she was searching for something.

"We'd better get started," Kakashi said, jumping down from his post. He slid _Icha_ back into the safety of its pocket. When Hanare didn't follow immediately, he looked up. She was biting her lip and kicking her feet. Just staring at him. Dawdling.

Kakashi heaved a silent sigh. " _Hanare,_ " he said in a serious tone. She wrinkled her nose at him. Kakashi was surprised that he had the urge to laugh… he didn't, and his dark eye glinted dangerously instead.

"If you waste my time-" he began, a threat in his voice.

Hanare hopped off her post. She stretched, cat-like, taking her time. Kakashi's gaze followed the line of her arched back… until he realized what was happening. "Is that one of Guy's jumpsuits?" he said nonchalantly. Hanare's head whipped around toward him and she scowled.

"Does this look green to you?" Hanare said peevishly, adjusting her suit. "What, are you color blind or something?!"

"A little, actually," Kakashi said blandly. Hanare stopped. A blush crept over her cheeks.

"Oh- _sorry_ ," she said. Her eyes widened sincerely. "I didn't know. It's um, a black suit, not green…" she shrugged in apology.

Kakashi nodded. "I can see that. I just asked if it was Guy's to bother you. I mean… it is kind of his style, right?"

Hanare ground her teeth. Kakashi stared expressionlessly. The suit was really tight. Especially around Hanare's… pelvic… area…

" _Well._ We _are_ doing taijutsu today, correct?" Hanare seethed. When she was angry, her mouth got really tense, like she ate too much umeboshi. Kakashi filed that information away.

"What makes you think so," he said.

"Sakura told me the order of things in their survival exercise."

"But this is an entirely different kind of training."

"So we're not doing taijutsu?"

"I never said that "

Hanare threw up her hands and sighed to the heavens. "Let's just _start_ this farce already!" she said.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "You just need to take these bells from me." He fastened a couple tin bells on a red string to his waist.

"This is exactly what you did to Team 7," Hanare pointed out, side-eyeing him. She shrugged out of her flak vest.

"Yes, but for different reasons," Kakashi said. The suit was also really tight across Hanare's… bosom… "With the genin, I needed to test their commitment to the mission. With you, it's a more straightforward test-a simple assessment of your skill level."

"What if I just touch the bells," Hanare said as she rolled up her sleeves. "Does that count?"

Kakashi observed as she took off the wristwatch. He noticed her suit had a headband sewn across the chest like a bandolier, the forehead protector plate across the left side of her chest. "No," he said. "You have to take the bells off my person."

"Alright." Hanare raised her fists.

Kakashi thought about getting out his book. There was no way she was going to get close to the bells. "That's an interesting way to wear a hitai-ate," he said.

Hanare shrugged. "On the battlefield, I'd rather protect my heart than my forehead, _sensei._ " She lunged at him.

Kakashi had half expected this, and moved accordingly. Hanare was naturally quick (which he knew from childhood, when she used to force him into playing tag with her and Guy and such) but extremely undisciplined in her movements (which he knew from watching her spar with Genma on the recent diplomatic mission to Yugakure). She threw a jab and tried to drop into a sweep; Kakashi easily blocked both and tipped her off balance with a gentle heel kick to her open shoulder. Hanare fell face-first, sprawled in the dirt.

"Ow," she mumbled into the ground. Kakashi checked a sigh.

"Is that really all you've got?" he said. He was pretty sure he'd seen Udon do better. Hanare lay there in front of him. When she didn't answer or even try to get up Kakashi started lecturing. He had to do something… he felt foolish just standing over her, looking at her b-

"You shouldn't be so predictable. And don't telegraph your attacks," Kakashi said, glaring down at his inert pupil. "It's easy to see what you're going to do next when you lazily slide into one move from the next like that. It's just sloppy. You need to work on your form… Are you just going to lie there all day?"

Hanare lifted her head and peeped over her shoulder at him. Her eyes sparkled with tears.

Kakashi had to look away. "If you fake-cry on me again, I will auto-fail you, Hanare. Do not test me."

The green-haired kunoichi sighed loudly and jumped up, dusting off her suit. "Dammit Kakashi, you know all my moves," she groused as she straightened her katana harness. She pouted at him while she smoothed her ponytail.

Kakashi stared at her coldly. "Sulking won't get you anywhere. So stop it."

Hanare rolled her eyes. "Oh one sec, my suit is riding up," she said. To Kakashi's horror she unzipped one side of her outfit and reached in to-

Something jingled.

Kakashi spun, catching the hand of a… _clone_?! Her fingers had brushed a bell, mere millimeters from taking it. Kakashi flung the clone into a shrub, where it dispersed into _crows_! They flew at Kakashi, screaming raucously. A few quick kunai strokes reduced them to feathers-the clone's chakra had been minimal…

Hanare burst through the feathers, attempting to tackle Kakashi with the most inelegant assault he'd ever experienced. Her shoulder hit him in the gut but he was ready and rolled with it, simultaneously wrapping his forearm around her neck and twisting his hips to keep the bell away from her grabby hands. They hit the ground, and when Hanare realized the bell was out of reach she simply went for hammer-fisting her sensei in the nuts instead. Kakashi caught her wrist with his off hand and sprang to a standing position. Hanare panted in front of him, his kunai to her throat and her other arm in a lock.

"That wasn't bad," Kakashi said. "Not good, but not bad either. I didn't know you knew Crow Clone."

"Itachi…" Hanare managed, breathless. Her head was at Kakashi's chest, and when the breeze blew he could smell her perfume.

Kakashi grunted. He hadn't thought about Itachi in a while. "Makes sense," he finally said.

"Yeah…" Hanare was trying to regulate her breathing. As he held the knife to her neck, Kakashi could feel her pulse hammering through the fabric of his glove. She swallowed. "My chakra's weak, but I have a lot of it. The crows… help… give it some substance for clones."

Kakashi suddenly noticed how snugly his _front_ was pressed into her… _back._ He loosened the lock on her arm. It didn't help. It felt like she was resting her head on his chest. "I miss Itachi," she said out of the blue.

"Me too," Kakashi said before he could think about it. He frowned. Hanare shifted in his arms.

"He was helping me train." Hanare's voice was soft. Kakashi found himself leaning down to hear her. His mask was inches from her ear. "He spoke very highly of you, did you know that?" she said.

"I didn't," Kakashi heard himself say. This conversation had nothing to do with the remedial training. Why were they-

"Were you very close?" Hanare asked, her voice just above a whisper. Kakashi couldn't quite place the notes in her scent… pikake and amber? Something peppery-

"I think we wanted to be. At times," Kakashi said. An image of Itachi's onyx eyes, lit from below by a flickering campfire, came to mind.

"Me, too," Hanare sighed. Her weight shifted backwards. Kakashi realized he was supporting her… her body felt warm through the thin material of the jumpsuit…

"AAAACK!" Kakashi cried as someone grabbed his butt. _Another clone…_?! No-the jonin coiled to retaliate, cranked his head back to look-

It was just Hanare, reaching around. Her other hand had squirmed loose during his surprise and made a half-hearted grab for the bells. Kakashi twitched his hip away, mouth an angry, thin line beneath his mask. He shoved Hanare away from him and she stumbled forward before tripping on a rock and falling to her knees.

"I should fail you for using Itachi like that," Kakashi growled. Hanare was on all fours and turned her head back to smile evilly at him.

"All's fair in love and war," she retorted. Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Besides," Hanare continued as she slowly got to her feet again. "I think Itachi would've approved. He encouraged me to use whatever was at my disposal."

"Was _he_ at your disposal?" Kakashi asked drily.

Hanare hesitated. Then she gave a wicked grin. "I think he might've been. At times."

Kakashi was glad he wasn't hot-blooded. He didn't have to worry about her goading him. He stuck his hands in his pockets. "Your perfume. It contains hallucinogenic components, doesn't it?"

Hanare's grin vanished like smoke. "How did you know?"

Kakashi looked idly at the trees. "That's the only way you would've had such an effect on me."

Hanare's eyes narrowed. "Oh _really_! Well I-what? Wait, so you're saying… I had an effect on you…?" The kunoichi's smirk was back.

Kakashi reached back and scratched his head. "Well… the hallucinogenic did."

Hanare crossed her arms smugly, lifting her chin. Kakashi looked down his nose at her. They stayed that way in silence for a minute.

Hanare got impatient first. "So I pass taijutsu, right?" She gave the silver-haired jonin a huge wink. A chuckle escaped Kakashi before he could squelch it.

"Absolutely not," he said. Hanare's shoulders sagged theatrically. Then her face brightened up like she had an idea. Kakashi braced himself.

"You know what stinks the absolute worst of my taijutsu skills?" Hanare was looking at him like she actually expected him to guess.

"...All of it?" Kakashi said in a monotone.

Hanare rolled her eyes. "You shouldn't _telegraph_ your insults so much, Sharingan Warrior."

"I pride myself in my honesty… when it's convenient."

Hanare sighed in defeat. "Okay. I admit it, it's all equally bad." Kakashi smiled imperceptibly under his mask. "Seriously though," Hanare went on, unfazed. "I really think, honestly, that there is something that is just more bad than the rest that you could help me with. _Really_ help me with, Kakashi." She plopped down on the ground, took off her katana harness, and pulled a leg back into a quad stretch.

The copy ninja couldn't help but ask, "What?"

"Grappling," Hanare said. Her face was sincere and vulnerable. "Would you help me with it, Kakashi?" She blinked her large eyes at him, brow furrowed in anxiety. She switched legs. The suit seams looked like they could go at any minute.

"No," Kakashi said, adjusting his forehead protector and staring off toward the Memorial Stone.

"Why not?!" Hanare pounded her small fist on the ground. "It's a legitimate discipline! Especially for someone in my line of work-"

"Ask Asuma," Kakashi deflected. "Or maybe- _Aoba_." He stuck his hands in his pockets. Hanare was arguing with him while she was lying on the ground. From the corner of his eye, she looked pretty flexible… He refused to turn fully in her direction. He took out _Icha Icha._

" _Worst sensei ever_ ," Hanare accused. She went into a yoga pose while she pouted. "Is it because I'm too _old_? Is it because I'm a _girl_?" The green ponytail splayed across the ground while Hanare did a back bridge and mused aloud.

"Is it because I make you nervous?" Hanare's voice lilted over. Kakashi stared at the page of _Paradise_ where Tadashi drunkenly made a move on Kaori. "Is it because you get sexually aroused around me? That's it, huh! I am just so hot, you can't stand it." Hanare was shouting now, from Downward Dog. "You've been pining for my tight body ever since we were kids and now you CAN'T TEACH ME PROPER JIU JITSU BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID YOU'LL GET HARD WH-"

"Shut. Up." Kakashi's face popped into view between the upside-down "V" of Hanare's legs. Hanare screamed in surprise and toppled over. Kakashi stood above her, hands in his pockets and a dark look on his face. He'd stripped off his vest and headband and was wearing just the blue uniform turtleneck with the sleeves rolled up and his navy blue pants. He held the sharingan closed.

Hanare looked up at him and flinched. "I… I was just kidding-"

"You wanted to go? Let's _go_ then." Kakashi's voice was a growl that raced up Hanare's spine. He glared. She cowered. Then she shot-reaching right for the bells.

Kakashi slid his left leg back to put his knee just out of her reach. Hanare doggedly extended, gunning for a grip on his legs. Kakashi spread his stance backwards, putting one hand down between Hanare's shoulder blades and using his weight advantage to slow her as his other arm wrapped around her waist. She gasped as the jonin flipped her upside down, her legs over his shoulders so he had her in the perfect position to piledrive her head right into the ground. Hanare squeezed her eyes shut…

Inches from the dirt Kakashi stopped, paused to sigh, then unceremoniously but gently dumped Hanare's body in the dust. She coughed. "Why are you going so easy on me?!" she whined.

"Would you rather I broke your neck-" Kakashi started to say, but then realized Hanare's legs were still draped over his shoulders. At that instant they snapped closed, trapping his neck in a vise grip between her thighs. The petite kunoichi twisted viciously, pulling Kakashi off balance so _she_ could slam _his_ face into the ground.

Kakashi was surprised at how steely her thighs were-not overly muscular, Hanare really didn't look like she carried much strength. But here he was having trouble getting air between her legs. He turned his face, pushing his chin down into the flesh of her quadricep to get a fraction of breathing room. He was off balance and cursed letting his guard down-she might actually succeed in getting dirt on his shirt.

Hanare's crotch was inches from his face. Kakashi tried to ignore that and instead forced his hand into the space between his neck and her thigh, sliding his arm up and through as he fell toward the ground. He exploded upward and Hanare was unable to pull him down any further; instead she was looking up at him in her guard, her legs now wrapped around his waist.

It wasn't a bad position per se in grappling, but Kakashi, with his longer reach and greater weight, would be heavily favored. Hanare gritted her teeth and flexed her legs, keeping the silver-haired shinobi as far from her as she could while she blocked and dodged his punches. She was breathing hard. Kakashi was impressed she was putting her all into it. He jabbed, wondering if he should really hit her face if she slipped up.

Suddenly her eyes rolled back in her head and she seemed to go into a spasm. "Hanare?" Kakashi stopped the exercise. He wasn't versed in this kind of episode-she was shaking and-

A small fist shot up and grabbed Kakashi by the collar, yanking him downward as Hanare curled forward into a desperate headbutt. Kakashi slammed his palm across her temple, mashing the side of her face down into the ground. Her other hand came out of nowhere and flung a handful of dirt directly into his eye.

"Damn!" Kakashi swore, opening the sharingan. His eye met hers, and his jutsu copied something. _What?!_ Suddenly Kakashi could see inside _his own mind_ -there was that _Icha_ scene, and Naruto and Sasuke training, his father's face… and… Hanare? _Naked_?

The copy ninja growled and forced his way past Hanare's guard, pinning her in a full mount. One of his hands wrapped around both of her wrists, holding them above her head. His other hand covered the sharingan.

"What… what is this. Hanare-how do I turn this off?!" Kakashi was breathing hard from anxiety, not exertion. There were _many_ things in his head he didn't want to ever see again, if he could help it…

Hanare's face was half caked with dirt but she heard the plea underlying Kakashi's voice. "Just blink three times, in quick succession," she said. Kakashi did as he was told, and the vision of Hanare, in the buff and sprawled across his shuriken comforter, faded from before his eye. Kakashi exhaled in relief. That hadn't been so bad, but the other things lurking in his mind… The jonin shuddered involuntarily. Hanare noticed. A line appeared between her brows.

"I'm fine," Kakashi assured her. "That's… an interesting… jutsu, you have there." The jonin was still straddling her, one hand propping himself up, the other restraining her hands. Hanare could feel the weight off him across her hip bones. When Hanare breathed in, Kakashi felt it through his legs. He watched her ribcage rise and fall under the black suit that now had a couple tears in it. Ninja mesh peeked through from under the stretchy fabric. Kakashi just stayed there a moment, resting. A few emerald strands had come loose from his student's ponytail. Even with her face dusty and her body exhausted, Hanare's honey-tinged eyes were watching him closely. Too closely.

Kakashi let go and rolled off of her, standing up quickly. Hanare rubbed her face. Kakashi turned and held a hand down to help her up. She ignored it.

He put it in his pocket instead. "That wasn't bad," he said.

"You don't have to be nice to me," Hanare coughed, getting up on one elbow and looking at her wrecked clothes. "I know it was awful. I'm just scrappy."

"More like… dusty," Kakashi said. His right eye seemed to crinkle at the corner when he said it.

Hanare gave him a look. "All spies fight dirty, Hatake." She unzipped her suit.

"Do they?" Kakashi turned away and went to retrieve his vest and headband.

"Whatever it takes to get the job done," Hanare peeled off the black suit.

"If you fight dirty, doesn't that just mean someone has to clean up after you?" Kakashi adjusted his forehead protector.

"I've never get assigned any backup," Hanare said quietly. Kakashi turned around as he slipped into his vest. Apparently under her suit Hanare had on another suit. This one was sleeveless and made entirely of ninja mesh. Kakashi felt fatigued just looking at it. It was skin tight and that flesh-colored beige. Probably the result of Anko's influence. It was as ridiculously lewd and monochromatic as Sakura's standard dress was sweet, colorful and silly.

"Amazing you and Sakura grew up in the same household," Kakashi mused aloud. Hanare paused in adjusting her sandal.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" she said, quirking an eyebrow.

"Well… she's top of her class, has excellent chakra control, I guess her taijutsu is weak too so you do have that in common-but she's… good-natured… generally. And she seems completely fixated on Sasuke. A one-person girl, so to speak. Whereas your interests have always seemed… diversified."

Hanare was just looking at him. Her eyes were flat and shiny, her expression unreadable. She went back to adjusting her sandals. "Should see the pink brat before breakfast…" she mumbled under her breath.

"What was that?" Kakashi checked all his scroll pouches just because.

Hanare glanced up with a saccharine smile. "I said, Sakura and I aren't blood relations, after all. And hey, in a few years she'll be old enough for you to date."

Kakashi stopped mid-reach for _Icha._ "That is absurd and disgustingly inappropriate," he admonished, eyes flashing. He turned on Hanare. "I'm her _sensei_. Don't ever say anything like that again!"

Hanare raised an eyebrow. She had her head tilted, propped on one hand that was in turn propped on her knee. She looked at Kakashi like she was watching cement dry. "My sister and I are more alike than you think, Kakashi," she said tiredly.

He thought about it. "I guess you do both have uniquely colored hair."

Hanare rolled her eyes and jumped to her feet. "Alright. So taijutsu was a bust. On to genjutsu, _sensei_?" The way she said "teacher" made it sound like the direst of insults.

Kakashi nodded. "You might want to sit back down," he said, his expression back to sleepily stoic as he began to recite the lecture he'd recently written, just for this occasion. "Genjutsu. The art of deception…"

…

 **Genjutsu**

"...to seamlessly manifest, therefore avoiding alerting the victim to the illusion's existence. This can be achieved through precise timing, utilizing similar environmental touchstones, incorporating the illusion into a natural-Hanare?" Kakashi gazed down at his remedial student. The green-haired chunin was slouched, cross-legged, her head in her hands. A soft snore answered him.

The jonin paused his lecture. He debated between just lying down next to Hanare and reading _Icha Icha_ until he too fell asleep… or waking her up to continue the training. Kakashi sighed. He stepped close to the kunoichi and nudged her knee with his toe.

" _Hanare_ ," he said.

She startled awake. Blinking rapidly she pushed a strand of hair off her face. "Oh, um, that's amazing, Kakashi. Ah… your riveting vocabulary is-"

"Somnambulic?" he suggested. She blushed and peered up at him. His eye was crinkled at the corner.

"What can I say-you're the man of my _dreams_!" Hanare grinned. She flashed a peace sign like a model would in a candy commercial. Kakashi shook his head-teaching might be a hopeless cause for him. Hanare giggled as she stood up, dusting off her bottom. The ninja mesh bodysuit had a high neck but no sleeves, and stopped mid-thigh. She was putting her katana harness back on, buckling it around her hips and upper thigh.

"Can we take this theory stuff in a more applied direction?" Hanare yawned. "I'm a hands-on learner."

"Alright, then," Kakashi said. "Same thing: you try to take these bells from me. But this time, we'll each start out concealing ourselves from the other. It'll be a matter of who can get the drop on whom."

Hanare nodded. "Great."

"Any questions?" Kakashi asked, hands in his pockets. His body was relaxed in a professional slouch. Hanare shook her head _no_. "I'm not as ranked in genjutsu as say… Kurenai. Or Itachi," Kakashi said. "And it's not rooted in physicality so you're not at any kind of inherent disadvantage except where, perhaps, raw chakra power is concerned. But I've seen a lot of chunin do well in genjutsu-Iruka sensei, for example. It's possible for one to do a lot with very little. Given hard work and accuracy. And that's commendable."

"So you're saying I'm a talentless schmuck," Hanare put a hand on her hip.

"I'm saying… this could be interesting," Kakashi stared at her coolly.

"You're assuming I must be predisposed to be a genjutsu type because my taijutsu and ninjutsu suck so badly."

Kakashi sighed. "I'm saying I supposed you were a genjutsu type because I couldn't imagine any other topic you'd be discussing on Iruka's lap for so long at the holiday party."

Hanare's eyes squinted aggressively. "I didn't know you were watching me. I figured your vision was completely obliterated at that point by a haze of egg nog."

"Nothing could obliterate the elegant visual of you trying to lick poor Iruka's ear."

Hanare cringed. "Let's start the exercise," she said. Kakashi nodded.

"One… two… three… go!"

…

Kakashi waited in the shade of the treeline. Patiently reading, he listened for a sign of one of Hanare's spunky but clumsy attacks. He'd concealed himself with a poor camouflage jutsu to lure her out; hopefully she would be able to locate him and he wouldn't be waiting all day. It was getting close to lunchtime.

Suddenly a flock of crows noisily flew up from an area in the woods just ahead of him. Kakashi watched them caw angrily at being disturbed. He wondered if that was Hanare, being clumsy, or Hanare trying to make him think she was being clumsy. He smiled slightly beneath his mask. He'd known her for so long it was hard to take this seriously-she'd always been independent, risky, impatient, passionate, unpredictable, prone to carelessness… and she wasn't going to change anytime soon.

Kakashi put the book in his pocket and crept over to a nearby shrub, hoping to be obvious enough that she'd see him, think he'd been fooled by her ruse, and spring her "counterattack." He waited. There was silence.

"Meow." Kakashi's head whipped around. A black cat was loitering over to him, rubbing up against branches as it walked. Is that what had scared the crows…?

 _No._ "Hanare, really." Kakashi turned to face the cat. It stopped and cleaned its face. Then it padded toward him. Kakashi backed up a few steps.

" _Hanare_." He flashed hand signs. The grass beneath the cat's paws gave way to quicksand. It yowled in surprise. The illusion wavered, and Hanare stood glaring at him, ankle-deep in sand and sinking.

"I hate you," she said, pouting. Kakashi dispersed the camouflage and shrugged. He took out _Icha Icha_ and leaned back against a convenient branch to continue reading while the quicksand did its thing "Kakashi!" she cried, when she saw he was ignoring her.

"Mmm hmm," he said, flipping a page.

"Are you just going to leave me here? Get me out!" The sand was over her knees.

"First you need to tell me what you learned," Kakashi replied without looking up. Hanare threw up her hands.

"That, like I already _knew_ -I'm awful at genjutsu!" she said. She looked down worriedly at the sand that was up to her thighs. "Kakashi!" She put her hands on her hips and sank a little more.

"And?" Kakashi said in a bored voice.

Hanare bit her lip. The quicksand was up to her hips. "And… and that… you hate cats?!"

"Not it," Kakashi said in sing-song.

"Ah! Kakashi-" Hanare's eyes were wide. The sand was up to her waist. "Um… Okay… the camouflage you used was probably sub-par on purpose?"

"Good!" Kakashi said, but made no move to help her as he kept reading. Hanare bit her lip, trying not to struggle and panic as she sank.

"The cat was too obvious," she added. Kakashi nodded and turned a page. "Kakashi!" Hanare pleaded. He looked at her. The quicksand was just over her breasts. She held out a hand to him.

"And?" he said relentlessly. Hanare thought.

"And you had this whole area set with traps ahead of time?" she gasped. The sand reached her chest. Her eyes were full of fear. Kakashi slid the book in his pocket and went to her. He held out his hand to pull her out. Her fingers reached for him… but then instead, he made a sign.

"Release!" the copy ninja commanded, stepping back from the quicksand.

Hanare looked down. "...Oh," she said. There was no quicksand.

"It was so obvious!" Kakashi admonished. Hanare sank to her knees and hung her head. "As if I would let y-"

Hanare's wrist flicked. A kunai zipped through the air, hitting an invisible trap wire. Suddenly, a barrage of shuriken whizzed through the air, straight at Kakashi.

"Huh?!" the silver-haired jonin looked up in surprise, jumping out of the way. Hanare moved a finger and another wire twitched. Kakashi turned his head at the sound of a giant axe swinging toward his head. Backflipping, he landed on his feet only to narrowly miss being impaled by a flurry of crossbow bolts that launched from somewhere else. A net closed around him from below but he slashed through with ease-when he heard something _jingle…_

Hanare had lassoed the bells with a tiny bolas and was pulling them toward her from the ground, nearly taking his pants with the line. Kakashi's kunai flashed and the bolas was cut; he dropped to the ground right on top of Hanare.

"Ow," she said from under him. "Bingo," she added, and a paper bomb blew Kakashi off her back.

The shadow clone _poofed_ away. Hanare felt the weight of real Kakashi on her back, and the prick of a kunai just under her jaw.

"Not… _bad_ …" Kakashi said, his breathing slightly elevated. He scratched his head and looked around. They were near the river, just down from the waterfall. The water looked refreshing. "How'd you plant all those traps?" he asked the green-ponytailed girl squashed beneath him.

"The old-fashioned way," Hanare's voice was slightly muffled by the grass. "I was out here all night."

Kakashi suppressed a chuckle. His seat on Hanare's butt was pretty comfortable. "Nicely done," he said. Hanare reached back and patted his leg.

"I'm tapping out now, sensei. Can you get off me? I can't breathe."

Kakashi obliged. Hanare rolled over and gave him a look. She had grass stuck to her cheek. She started to get up and Kakashi held out his hand. She reached up to take it, but missed in her fatigue and fell, stumbling backwards.

There was the sound of a wire snapping. Hanare's eyes widened in alarm. "Oh no!" she cried. Kakashi heard a whizzing sound-he turned, only to see three spears too close to avoid-

"Oof!" Kakashi grunted as an elbow slammed into his side. His shock turned to horror as he watched a spearhead impale Hanare's body just below the ribs.

"Unngh!" she cried out, taking the full impact of the blow as she shielded Kakashi with her body. She flew through the air and hit the ground near the edge of the river, sliding off the bank into the water. Blood streaked the sandy soil and bloomed in the water near her body…

"HANARE!" Kakashi leapt toward her from where she'd knocked him aside. He jumped into the water, reaching out… the green ponytail floated like seaweed… she wasn't moving… he could see her katana sticking up from the surface, the ninja mesh glinting in the sun…

Kakashi's hand closed around the back of Hanare's neck and gently lifted her head from the river. She was breathing! Her eyelids twitched.

"Kakashi…"

"Hana, sshh, it's going to be alright…"

"S-sorry… really stupid… forgot… that one," she mumbled.

"It's fine, it's fine!" Kakashi said, trying to peek at the wound while he carried her from the water. There was a lot of blood. It had soaked through her suit and ran down his hand…

He lay her on the river bank and took out his kunai, cutting swiftly through the ninja mesh and pulling the one-piece bodysuit apart at the point of impact…

There was the spearhead, buried in her…

Blue lace lingerie?

 _Jingle._

…

Kakashi knew as soon as he heard the sound, and white-hot anger flooded his body. He didn't want to look, but forced himself to; the spearhead was blunt and lodged in a putty prosthetic that contained a bladder of pig's blood. Hanare's lithe body was unscathed, her breathing labored for some unknown reason; ninja mesh suit torn mostly off by his own frantic hands, the curves of her breasts and dip of her stomach mocking him through feathery lace the same color as a Konoha uniform shirt. Kakashi let the kunai slide from his fingers in disgust as he stood up from where he'd knelt, half in the water, to attend to his injured _student_. He looked down at Hanare.

Her brown eyes were open and stared up at him with a strange expression. Her left arm, at rest by her side, twitched. The delicate fingers unfurled slowly to reveal the bells cupped in a small palm. They shone brightly silver on her wet skin. Kakashi didn't move, afraid of what he might do if he did. He thought she might look victorious or incorrigible… instead, her brow was furrowed. Her eyes seemed wet and limpid.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I had to…" Her emerald hair was dark and heavy with river water, plastered to her face where it had slipped from the ponytail. "You see, Kakashi…" Her lips parted, drops of water falling from them. She hesitated.

She moved her hand until she was clutching the bells over her heart.

"I… I'm sorry, but I had to do whatever it took to get these. You see, they're precious to me, because…"

Kakashi saw the sky reflected in her eyes. They looked golden in the sun. The beauty mark under her right eye moved as she smiled up at him.

"These might be the only part of you that I can ever have for myself. So now that I have them, I'll never let them go. It's all I ever wanted… some part of you, to treasure…"

The wind blew across the water, scattering leaves. Hanare sat up, slowly. Kakashi watched her undo her ponytail. He felt completely numb, as if someone had hit him with a nerve serum and trapped him in a genjutsu at the same time. His heart thudded in slow motion. Hanare knelt in front of him, reaching out… She grasped his vest in her hands-her eyes a question, her touch a promise. She pulled him down toward her…

Kakashi went willingly.

…

 **Ninjutsu**

Under the waterfall the roar drowned out outside sounds. It was a smallish waterfall and space was limited, but as shinobi they were used to improvising and didn't need much.

Kakashi pushed Hanare down onto the slick, mossy surface in front of him. She turned and looked at him over her shoulder. Kakashi was still a little angry about her dirty tactics and took it out on the lingerie, slicing it off her wet body with vindictive strokes of his kunai. He flung the pieces away into the crashing water.

His vest was already lumped into a corner. Kakashi knelt behind his student, slowly pulling off his shirt while he took in the sight of her naked body, tensed and dripping and waiting for him. Hanare's carmel eyes watched as Kakashi threw his shirt on top of his vest. His strong chest was crisscrossed with a few scars. Her eyes widened in anticipation as he started to remove his mask-

He noticed her watching, and stopped. He undid his pants instead, one eye lazily watching her blush as he reached down and took himself in his hand, stroking until he got even harder than he already was. It didn't take long with Hanare looking so inviting like she was; legs apart and her hips slightly raised in front of him. Her long green hair cascaded down the curve of her back to just above her ass.

Kakashi leaned forward, bracing himself on one arm. He put the other hand on Hanare's hip and guided her back against him until he felt her entrance. She was warm and moist there already. He gently moved forward, pushing up toward her thighs and back as he slowly penetrated her. Hanare gasped. With one hand Kakashi reached out and firmly grabbed ahold of Hanare's hair at the nape of her neck. He turned her head toward him slightly so he could look at her as he pushed himself inside the last couple inches.

"Ka… kashi-" Hanare breathed, her eyes wide and lips parted. He pressed into her deeply, and her sharp intake of breath told him he'd reached her limit. He gazed down on her face as he savored the feeling of being inside her, his eyes half-lidded and dark as onyx. Then he slid both his hands to her hips and methodically moved in reverse until he was barely penetrating her. Her ass was tempting, too. Kakashi teased her a moment, just shifting himself at her entrance until he felt her tremble with anticipation.

With a smooth motion, Kakashi thrust fully and deeply inside of Hanare. "Aaaah!" she cried out, arching her back reflexly as her body recoiled from the penetration. But Kakashi tightened his grip on her hips and held her there, disallowing her to do anything but accept him completely. She whined softly, the sound swallowed by the roar of the waterfall, and he felt her flex around him. Only when she relaxed and her body had completely submitted to the penetration did Kakashi again pull back.

Hanare moaned as he thrust into her again-a little harder, a little deeper-enjoying her tight slickness and soft whimpers. Hanare lost track of time as Kalashi repeated the process again and again… until she felt swollen and desperate and her cheeks were flushed bright pink.

"Hanare, look at me," Kakashi finally said, his voice a loud whisper. She did, peering back over her shoulder at him in embarrassed pleasure. "Do you want to come?" he asked, smirking under his mask. Hanare didn't think she could turn any redder but she did, and gave him a vile look. Kakashi chuckled.

"What was that? I couldn't quite hear you over this… waterfall." A light sheen of sweat and mist covered his forehead and torso. His silver hair flopped down over his closed sharingan from the dampness. His muscles were taut with restraint. His exposed eye burned with desire.

"Yes," Hanare breathed meekly. "Please, Kakashi…"

His eye crinkled at the corner. Then he pulled out of her roughly. "Oh!" Hanare protested. She missed his size and firmness immediately, and felt like she'd do anything to get it back within herself-

Kakashi flipped the green-haired kunoichi gently onto her back so she was laying cushioned on the moss. He leaned over her and whispered in her ear, "This is a test. Show me how well you can come, and if you pass, I'll show you how well I can _make_ you come."

"Wh-what?! Hanare hissed.

Kakashi leaned back and shrugged. "Consider it an assessment of your skills at touching yourself." Hanare glared. Kakashi laughed and leaned back against the wet rocks, propping one hand behind his head and taunting her with one sleepy-looking eye. Hanare's mouth set in a petulant line. Kakashi reached down and touched himself, his gaze roving across Hanare's body, splayed and exposed in front of him.

"You can still fail this entire thing, of course," Kakashi teased, relaxed and flaunting his hardness in front of her. "You know what to do. Or do you need remedial training in-"

"I _hate_ you!" Hanare hissed.

"I know," Kakashi winked. Hanare bit her lip. She moved her right hand slowly down between her legs. Her fingers edged toward all the interesting bits. Kakashi gave a slight nod of approval. She was really very nice to look at… everything was bare, smooth… the copy nin briefly wondered if when she did let it grow, was the hair down there also dark green, like on her head? Or some other color...

"What are you smiling about?!" Hanare snapped. Kakashi just shook his head.

"Who said I'm smiling?" he said, stroking himself.

"I can always tell," Hanare replied archly.

"You'd better start doing a better job if you want any more of this." He inclined his head toward his amazing erection. Hanare looked longingly at it and swallowed. "And spread your legs more so I have a better view," Kakashi said as he extended his foot and nudged her knee further to the side. He watched the spots of pink on Hanare's cheeks turn brighter and grinned under his mask.

The kunoichi sighed and lay her head back. She stared at the ceiling. It was rock. She turned her head to the side. More rock. She couldn't look forward; then she'd see _him_ watching her. Just the thought of it made her flush all over-but it was also arousing. She'd laid in bed many times, imagining Kakashi peeping at her through the window of her apartment… while she…

Hanare closed her eyes and moaned. She'd penetrated herself with her fingertips and was slowly rubbing herself with the other hand. She thought of Kakashi inside her a few minutes ago… and moaned again, pushing her fingers deeper inside herself. Hanare moved her hand to her breast, kneading the flesh and pinching her nipple, thinking of Kakashi during their taijutsu exercise, his arms pinning her, his kunai at her throat...

An intense groan escaped her lips as she felt compelled to thrust her fingers deeper and start rubbing herself again. "Very good, Hanare," Kakashi said. She blushed at his praise, and cracked one eye open in his direction-daring to peek at her sensei. His gaze was trained between her legs, on her center, and she could see the veins in his forearm as he held himself. His right eye was laden with desire… Everything about him was just so beautiful…

"Kakashi-" Hanare whispered needily, plunging her fingers within and moving her graceful hands more quickly. Her fingertips made small, rapid circles over her sex. Kakashi inhaled deeply. It was starting to get difficult to just watch. "Oh, Kakashi…" Hanare moaned. He watched as her legs flexed, spreading even further apart as she dug her heels into the moss for purchase. She tossed her head to the side, eyes squeezed shut.

"Kakashi, please-!" Hanare cried. Her fingers thrust twice more and her other hand flew across her glistening skin… Then she arched her back, mouth stretched in a silent cry-

Hanare collapsed back down in a floppy heap. "Ahhh-ah-ahhh…!" she gasped, trying to regain composure. Her cheeks and neck were flushed deep pink, the fingers of her left hand were coated with wetness and Kakashi could see the shimmer of moisture along her center, too.

"My turn," he said, pulling off his mask. Hanare looked at him, stunned-too surprised to do anything before she realized Kakashi had stuck his handsome face between her legs.

"AH!" Hanare squealed in embarrassed pleasure.

"Mmm hmmmm," Kakashi replied with a tongueful of kunoichi.

He kissed her there until she came; then he thrust his fingers inside her and kissed her there more until she came again. There was nothing silent about it when Kakashi made her climax. Hanare finished each time with a scream, "Kakashi" seemingly the only coherent syllables her mouth could form anymore.

The green-haired chunin lay panting and trembling, drops of perspiration on her brow, her body half-curled away from Kakashi as if to ward him off. But it was finally the jonin's turn to find release and he wasn't going to wait any longer.

Kakashi reached out and grabbed Hanare's knees, forcing them open again as he rolled her back onto her back. Hanare moaned preemptively, her sensitized flesh tingling from his gaze and the air alone. She looked up blearily at the jonin, apprehension mixed with passion on her face. Kakashi wasted no time in mounting her. He was throbbing with need and Hanare was going to take all of him. Now.

Hanare groaned as Kakashi slid forcefully into to her, his studiously elegant and handsome face hovering above hers. His lips were pursed in concentration; up close she could see gray in his dark eyes. Hanare reached up to touch his face, his damp silver hair, his battle-scarred shoulders. He thrust into her pliant body over and over-until Hanare was clenched around him and trembling again. Her head tilted back in a desperate gasp and he kissed the exposed skin of her throat as he buried himself so deeply inside of her that her gasp changed to a cry of pain. Yet simultaneously, Hanare's fingers dug into his shoulders-clutching, asking for more. Her legs wrapped around his waist, tightening, holding him inside her warmth and softness with an unspoken demand...

Kakashi growled low in his throat and all his muscles bunched as he braced himself for a final push. Hanare felt as though she would break. A tear slid from the corner of her eye… as he thrust forward once more-Hanare gasped, eyes wide-a guttural cry ripped from Kakashi's throat…. Hanare felt all of him becoming a part of the deepest part of her...

"Kakashi," she breathed, wrapping her arms around the copy nin's shoulders as he collapsed on top of her with a groan.

…

 **Extra Credit**

Hanare held Kakashi Hatake, the Hidden Leaf Village's celebrity jonin and her "remedial training" sensei, in a protective embrace. Everything was silent save for their breathing and the sound of the waterfall that separated them from the outside world. They were surrounded by wet stones and moss, lying in a shallow cave behind the crashing water. Kakashi's bare skin was moist with sweat and water, his silvery head lay on Hanare's arm… Hanare's dark green hair spread on the stones behind her. They were joined in the middle, legs twined around each other as they lay still in the afterglow. A bit of sun sparkled on the water through the falls; Hanare thought it must be past lunchtime...

Her stomach growled. The shinobi in her arms stirred and she blushed. Kakashi was asleep, resting so sweetly - she didn't want to disturb him… But there it was again, damnable stomach: a huge burble caused Kakashi to crack open his right eye. The onyx orb was flecked with gray and when it focused on her he smiled.

Kakashi leaned forward slightly to kiss Hanare on the lips. It was a tender kiss. His mouth was soft and respectful, appreciative… as though he was simply glad she was there. Hanare tried to close her eyes and relax so she could enjoy the kiss, but it was not to be. Her stomach growled demandingly. Kakashi got up on one elbow and chuckled, looking down at her with a grin.

"It must be lunchtime," he said.

Hanare blushed again. "Um, yeah, I suppose it is..."

"Sshh, wait!" Kakashi's head turned sharply, his gaze no longer lingering on his naked student but instead piercingly trained on the waterfall. "Did you hear something?" he hissed.

"No," Hanare whispered tensely. "What did you..."

Kakashi opened his sharingan. The blood-red orb on the left could perceive many things… Suddenly both Kakashi's eyes flew wide. "Get down!" he cried, throwing his body over Hanare's.

Hanare gasped, pressing herself flat to the mossy stone. She felt Kakashi's weight on top of her. There was a loud _THCHUNK_ and Hanare saw a giant shuriken slam into the wall behind them at the height Kakashi's head had just been. What was going on?!

"Shadow Clone Jutsu!" she heard Kakashi whisper. The next second she felt him push her into the corner, his uniform shirt shoved into her arms. "Stay down and don't move!" he ordered, eyes blazing. He was wearing just his mask, vest and pants. Hanare thought she could hear the clash of metal ninja weapons from outside the the waterfall. She clutched Kakashi's shirt. He looked at her, then flashed a hand sign and _poofed_ away.

"You ass," Hanare muttered. No way was she going to let him play hero and not let her be there to protect him. She hurriedly slipped his shirt over her head and strapped on her ninja sandals. She put a kunai in her mouth, holding it between her teeth. Then silent as a wraith, Hanare slid down into the water. She took a breath and submerged… swimming like a fish along the shadowed bank out from under the waterfall.

…

"Water Style Water Dragon Jutsu!" Kakashi cried, surprising the Hidden Mist nin with one of their own attacks. _Thanks, Zabuza_ … Kakashi thought as he watched several shinobi go down with the dragon. It wasn't permanent though… these guys would have resistance to water attacks. Part of Kakashi just enjoyed being a patronizing show-off to his opponents. A flash of green caught Kakashi's eye… Hanare?! There, by the overgrown ferns that provided some cover, the kunoichi had emerged and loosed a kunai...

"Aaarggkle!" A Mist nin creeping up behind Kakashi clutched his throat and toppled over. Kakashi glared across the water at Hanare. She shrugged and flashed a peace sign.

"Earth Style: Great Mud River!" Kakashi buried the remainder of the raiding party in a tide of slop and that was the end of it. Hanare swam over to his side and trudged out of the water.

" _Overkill_ ," she said.

Kakashi shrugged. "When you got it…"

Hanare giggled. "I think I like you barefoot in the mud," she grinned. Glancing around at the mess, she frowned. "What do you think this trash was up to?"

Kakashi sighed. "Low-level rogues, but not official defectors." He kicked a fallen Kiri bandana away. There was no slash through the Mist sigil. "A large number of them, though. My guess would be underpaid discontents and people who shouldn't have been recruited as ninja in the first place, looking for loot and glory."

Hanare nodded. "Hope the Mizukage finds something productive to do with the survivors." She glanced behind Kakashi at the fallen nin with her kunai in his throat. Suddenly the body spasmed and coughed. The guy rolled over and started hacking up blood, but the wound didn't look too bad. Apparently his mouthpiece apparatus had partially deflected the knife's point.

"Oh, good-looks like we might have avoided any casualties," Hanare said brightly.

Kakashi side-eyed her. "You absolutely tried to kill that one, and you didn't think twice about it."

"I wanted to make sure." Hanare wrung out the sleeves of his soaking wet shirt hanging off her much smaller frame. "I didn't want him flailing around and getting a chance to hurt you…"

Kakashi's eye creased slightly at the corner. "I didn't know you were so sweet, Hana."

She blushed and looked away. Just then several Anbu plus Genma and Aoba materialized in front of them. Kakashi and Hanare both froze at the sight of all the jonin.

Genma chewed a senbon. He smoothed his bandana as he surveyed the scene. Aoba was staring at Hanare's legs. The shinobi in the animal masks milled awkwardly. There wasn't really anything to do…

"You wanna tell me what's up, Kakashi?" Genma said.

"No," Kakashi replied. Genma nodded.

"Cool. I'll tell Old Man it's all in hand," the senbon-chewing jonin looked relieved he didn't have to do any work.

"Thanks," Kakashi said.

"What were you two doing out here?!" Aoba exclaimed after taking in both their outfits. Genma and the Anbu squad all looked more closely at them. Kakashi was topless with just a flak vest to cover himself. He was wearing uniform pants but they weren't tied properly and were hanging so low you could see an indecent amount of hip bone. And the copy nin was barefoot. Hanare had on a standard uniform shirt but it was obviously too big, hanging down past her hips and over her hands. It was wet, and… she didn't seem to be wearing a bra, because everyone could see clearly the outlines of her stiff nipples through the navy blue fabric. She was wearing shinobi sandals, but was not wearing any pants… Neither of them had their hitai-ate on.

Hanare tossed her head casually. "We were..."

"Exploring," Kakashi said.

"Training," Hanare finished at the same time. They glanced at each other. Hanare bit her lip. Kakashi looked sleepy but satisfied. They turned back to the others.

"Remedial," they said as one.

Genma cleared his throat. Aoba crossed his arms. The Anbu tried to look busy looking at other things. Everyone was blushing.

"We'll uh - see you back at HQ," Genma said. He motioned the others and they all vanished.

Kakashi turned to Hanare. "Want a ride home?" he asked.

Hanare raised a brow, surprised. "...Sure!" she said. Kakashi crouched down, and Hanare climbed onto his back.

…

The day had only gotten hotter as it progressed. Early evening was still a bit stifling and Hanare couldn't do much besides sit by the window and watch twilight approach and the fireflies start to come out. She could hear the sounds of the night market starting, and wondered what her friends were doing. Anko had a habit of partying every night, and Kurenai had mentioned wanting to try the new mochi shop…

It had only been a few hours since she and Kakashi had parted ways, but it felt like years. He'd carried her all the way back to her apartment, set her down at the door, gave her a lighthearted wave, and then _poof!_ -he was gone. No goodbye… no words at all, actually-and definitely no kiss. Hanare rested her chin on a palm and stared out into the sunset, trying not to be glum.

You never could tell, with someone like...

 _Knock, knock_.

Hanare's heart leaped three stories straight out of her throat and back in again. She jumped up, trying to smooth her lavender sundress and her hair at the same time so that in the end they both only got more askew.

"Dammit!" she said, forcing herself to do things one at a time as she took a deep breath and slowly walked toward the door. She had to inhale again and focus, right before she opened it…

There was no one there. An empty hall; no note. No flowers. Hanare took a tentative step across her threshold and peered both ways up and down the corridor. Nothing. A mistake, then… someone at the wrong apartment. Her hand lingered on the doorknob. Ah, well…

"Hi."

Hanare startled and spun, heart racing. A glare settled on her face and she put her hands on her hips. Kakashi. Lounging _in_ her window like it was the totally normal way to show up at someone's home.

"Stay right where you are… I think from here I have a good shot at knocking you off the building with Wind Release," Hanare said, scrunching up one eye like she was taking aim.

Kakashi had started reading. He sighed. "We both know you can't hit the broad side of a barn with that jutsu." His voice was a teasing lilt as he kept his eyes on _Icha_.

Hanare grudgingly had to admit he was right. "Did you come over just so you could pretend to read? Because feel free to sit there all night - I have places to be." Hanare turned and walked into the kitchen.

Kakashi's voice followed her. "I've never known you to _not_ have somewhere to be… not to mention someone to be _with_." Hanare rolled her eyes and took an iced coffee out of the fridge. She turned and almost crashed nose-first into Kakashi's chest, since he'd apparently teleported into the kitchen entryway.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hanare said, her eyes hard and her mouth set in a little stiff line. Kakashi almost smiled, looking down at her. She had her hair down, the way he liked it. One of the test bells was threaded on a delicate chain and hung down just above the plunging neckline of her purplish dress. Kakashi snapped _Paradise_ closed.

"Actually I came by because we need to talk." He leaned over her in the doorway, one arm propped up. Hanare noticed he was only partially in uniform - his shirt was unbuttoned over a white tee and he had on dark blue jeans. He had his gloves, mask, sandals and headband on. He saw her scrutinizing him and scratched his head.

"I came from HQ. Had some meetings… that's what took me so long. Sorry," he said. Hanare felt a bit better at that… the phrase "we need to talk" had set her on edge.

"What did you want to talk about," she blurted, keeping her face averted. Best to just rip off the bandage in situations like this…

Kakashi paused. "Well, first thing is I should've asked you if you're on any kind of birth-"

"YES," Hanare interjected. Her cheeks turned fuschia. Kakashi thought it was adorable, and hilarious - but refrained from chuckling. His expression stayed exactly the same: tired. Hanare cringed at her own intensity and took a breath to compose herself. "Yes," she continued, continuing to blush even more. "I am a… well, a spy, after all. I mean, we… All of us, it's that - we need to be prepared. If you know what I mean. So yes. Yes, I have that taken care of. Kakashi."

Hanare couldn't believe how ridiculous and immature she was being. _Why am I so embarrassed?!_ She'd known Kakashi for nearly a decade, after all… and frankly, in her line of work intimate conversations were de rigueur! She'd had to spill more detail to Inoichi and Sandaime, for pete's sake…

Kakashi just nodded. Hanare realized she had been remiss in information gathering, too, and had her own question.

"Alright, so I had my last physical a few weeks ago and everything came back clean, and I haven't been with anyone since," Hanare said it with confidence but her face was still red and she looked everywhere but at Kakashi. "What about _you?_ "

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Me?"

"Yes, you! Are you… have you… gotten tested…" Hanare wished they were drinking. Or something. Anything. She'd never been so tense-

Kakashi laughed. Hanare glared at him, finally making eye contact in her rage. "What?!" she said.

The silver-haired shinobi quieted. His exposed eye slid to the side. The twinkle of mirth fizzled out and now he looked a little anxious himself. He reached back and scratched his head. Over the edge of his mask, Hanare thought she detected a slight pinkness…

"I've never been with anyone else, Hana," Kakashi said.

Hanare's jaw dropped.

Several awkward seconds later, when she'd processed that bit of intel enough to have regained her ability to speak, Hanare made a noise of disbelief.

"That's impossible! How were you so good, then?" she demanded.

Kakashi shrugged. "I read a lot."

Hanare smashed a hand to her face and kept it there.

"...So you're saying, it was good, then?" Kakashi said quietly.

Hanare nodded… vigorously. Kakashi gave a sigh of relief.

"Excellent." The Sharingan Warrior crossed his arms and leaned back against the doorframe in satisfaction.

Hanare had another question. She hesitated, hiding behind her hand. Would it ruin everything…?

"Kakashi..." she said.

"Mmm hmm?" he replied immediately. She looked up at him. He was paying attention, with that misleadingly drowsy look. It was now or never…

"I meant what I said about the bells, Kakashi," Hanare said quickly. "I know… I know you know how I am - that I have a certain reputation..." Hanare swallowed, then plunged on. "But that's only one part of me. Do you understand? I don't want just part of you, if there's the possibility that I could have more. And I don't want you to think I'm going to just give you _part_ of me… the same part that others have, um… have..."

Hanare frowned. It was so muddled. She bit her lip. Kakashi was watching her patiently. She just wanted to tell him...

"I want a garden. And babies. Babies in the garden - at a house. Our house. You and me." She jabbed him in the chest. Kakashi raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I want to have a lot of fights, and wrinkles, and arguments about money, and your laziness. The ninken can't sleep on the bed..."

"I'm not lazy," Kakashi said.

"...because we'll be having so much sex..."

"...am I lazy?" Kakashi blinked. "Wait, did you just say we'll be having too much sex for the dogs to sleep on the bed?"

Hanare paused. She nodded. Her caramel eyes were wide and anxious, staring up at him.

"I like gardens." Kakashi pulled down his mask and kissed her.

…

They walked arm in arm down the middle of the street, not caring who saw. Gossip would be all over Konoha in about thirty seconds but Kakashi could care less. The night lanterns were lit and the market was full of good smells. Hanare was hanging on his arm and laughing. They had the night off. The stars were out overhead and Kakashi could hear strains of folk music from somewhere. They had plans. It wasn't frivolous. She didn't think of him as another throwaway boytoy. He couldn't recall ever being so at ease and happy since before his parents died. And on top of all of that… _damn_ did sex feel good…

Suddenly an Anbu officer _poofed_ into the space in front of them. Kakashi pulled Hanare to an abrupt stop and glowered at the shinobi in the animal mask.

"You two. At HQ. _Now_." The Anbu delivered the missive and then vanished.

Kakashi clenched the hand not holding Hanare into a fist in his pocket. He glanced at Hanare from the corner of his eye. She looked crestfallen.

"Damn," he growled, staring longingly up the lantern-lit path they'd been about to walk. When she heard his gruff tone, Hanare's face changed instantaneously to playful. She reached back and patted his butt. Kakashi jumped.

"It's no big deal," she giggled. "Come on, Kashi - let's go give 'em hell! Duty calls."

Kakashi cracked a smile. Hanare jumped into his arms so he had to catch her. She kissed him through his mask, and they flickered away.

 **Report Cards**

 _POOF_

Kakashi Hatake appeared in the Hokage's office. He was holding a fellow Leaf shinobi in his arms. They were both dressed for a night out… and they were both blushing. It was all highly irregular.

Hiruzen sat behind his desk, puffing his pipe, wishing he were eating dango behind the women's bathhouse, and glaring at the two young people in front of him. He watched as Hatake put Hanare down on her own two feet but kept his arm around her waist.

"I've received a disturbing report," the Third Fire Shadow said gruffly.

"It's really none of your business," Kakashi said. Hiruzen's eyebrows nearly shot off the top of his head.

"What Kakashi means..." Hanare smiled, "Is that Remedial Training went _amazingly_ well!" The green-haired kunoichi's smile could've melted polar ice. "You were so right to suggest it, Sarutobi-sama!" Hanare gave a polite bow. Hiruzen nearly fell out of his chair. _Most irregular_ …

"Training, eh?" Hiruzen grunted. "I heard that..."

"You know how the town loves gossip, sir," Kakashi said ingratiatingly, following Hanare's lead.

"I _am_ in espionage, Hokage sir. The session was probably very different from regular nin exercises." Hanare walked over and tidied some papers on Hiruzen's desk.

"She did very well," Kakashi added. "Very… professional." Hanare turned and surreptitiously shot him a look but the copy nin just gave a slight shrug.

"Hmm," Hiruzen scratched his chin. "How was the taijutsu?"

"Challenging," replied Kakashi honestly.

"But I learned so much from Kakashi," Hanare chirped. "Ultimately I had him unconscious in my arms in a vulnerable position!" She made a super- _kawaii_ face. Hiruzen looked to Kakashi for confirmation, eyebrow cocked in disbelief. Kakashi frowned at first, but then thought back on it…

"She has a lot of natural stamina," Kakashi said, nodding. "It can mean an eventual advantage over even the most well-prepared jonin."

Hanare beamed at Kakashi. Hiruzen cleared his throat. "Alright then, I trust your judgment, Kakashi. What about genjutsu?"

Hanare jumped in. "I think Hatake-san will agree that I created a complex illusion using basic techniques. An illusion that provided me the opening I needed to retrieve the bells and pass the test!" Hanare clasped her hands like a happy schoolgirl. Kakashi blinked… a complex… illusion...

The silver-haired shinobi gave Hiruzen a thumbs-up. The Hokage was surprised but impressed. "Wonderful," he jotted some notes on a small scroll. Kakashi and Hanare waited respectfully. "And finally," the Old Man Hokage glanced up again, "How did she do in ninjutsu?"

"Remarkable potential," Kakashi said smoothly. "I'm looking forward to working with her more in this area." Hiruzen nodded. Hanare blushed.

The Hokage grunted acknowledgement and finished his notes. Then he took a long puff of pipe as his gaze flicked back and forth between the jonin and chunin. "Now, about this..."

"I'd like permission to date Hanare," Kakashi interrupted. Hanare gasped. Hiruzen's pipe fell out of his mouth onto the table. He put it back in and chuckled.

"I don't think you need the Hokage's permission to have a social life, Kakashi!" The Old Man's eyes twinkled.

"It just feels like the right thing to do," Kakashi said in the voice he used to sweettalk all his guy friends into paying for his food. He turned his most respectful and admiring gaze on Hiruzen. Even though he was aware of Hatake's ways with flattery, Sandaime's chest puffed up slightly…

"We'd… we'd love to have your blessing, Sarutobi-sama," Hanare added timidly, bowing and blushing.

Hiruzen scratched his chin in satisfaction. It really was shaping up to be a fine day as Hokage, after all.

"You have my blessing. And don't you also have the night off? Get out of here and go have some fun, you two."

…

Hiruzen Sarutobi waited till Kakashi and Hanare had definitely gone - then he cackled in glee. Turning off all the lights in the Hokage office with a clap of his hands, he pulled out his crystal ball from a desk drawer and sat fondly petting it as he reviewed the success of his plan.

Things had gone even quicker than he'd foreseen. Who knew young Hatake and the troublesome Hanare would make such a decisive match! A fine idea on his part -opposites certainly did attract as they say. Settling the recalcitrant Kakashi so he could start siring more Konoha prodigies was a top priority. And without Hanare raising hell amongst the other jonin, everyone would be more focused on duties than - ahem - _extracurricular_ activities…

Smoke rings puffed out of the Hokage's open window, accompanied by a contented chuckle at a day's work well done. Definitely A+ stuff… _they didn't call me "genius" for nothing, after all_ , Hiruzen reflected right before he fell asleep into a robust, grandfatherly snore.

…

Hanare smiled gleefully to herself as she clutched the arm of _Kakashi Hatake_ and they swaggered all over nighttime Konoha. Well, he was just kind of walking in a slouch, but she was definitely swaggering… and dancing, and skipping! Hanare felt like the weight of ten thousand mediocre lifetimes had lifted from her shoulders. She had a bounce in her step, her heart in her eyes, and joy in her heart. Finally, _years_ of playing the fool had paid off! She'd never thought she'd get him in a position to make her move, but it had at long last happened, in the perfect way... and the tenuous friendship she'd _busted her ass_ to cultivate since the day she'd arrived in Konoha had finally blossomed into something more.

Hanare looked up adoringly at the man at her side. She'd speculated that he might be her soulmate since the moment they met… and that bond never wavered. Over the years it had only grown, and time after time she'd only been proven right that he was the one for her - whether he was being heroic, charming and sweet... or condescending, infuriating, even downright rude - Hanare loved every part of Kakashi and knew that would never change…

...And she knew it to be true because, while Hanare played a role in every other aspect of her life, the one person with whom she could be herself, and who truly appreciated her for who and what she was, just happened to be Kakashi Hatake.

…

Kakashi wasn't a whistling sort but if he did whistle he figured he would've been, right at the moment. He was buying sticks of dango for Hanare - in several flavors, because she wanted to try them all - and he knew he'd be forced to eat the leftovers even though he hated sweets. He smiled because he was needed in a way he'd never been, knew there was so much he was going to experience that he never had, and because his plan had worked out _perfectly…_

When Hiruzen had suggested the Remedial Training Supplementary Instructor position, Kakashi had been skeptical and on the verge of declining -until he thought of Hanare. He knew his friend had gotten poor reviews a couple years in a row… would she be part of the program? Was there a possibility he would be assigned as her teacher? Was this the great excuse to spend one-on-one time that he'd been looking for?

Kakashi smiled gently down at the kunoichi whose face was chipmunk-cheeked with dango. Sure, she was beautiful. But looks faded. And she was sexy as hell - he'd just glance at her or think of her doing something mundane and would start to feel rowdy in certain body parts… but honestly one couldn't do that forever either ( _I'll have to get really creative in old age_ Kakashi thought, mental gears starting to turn). The thing was, while Kakashi knew that he and Hanare might "be fine" apart - able to function and exist as separate entities - he also knew they were _supposed_ to be together.

Why did he know? He wasn't sure. It was a feeling he had when he was around her: that they were in a wonderful story, and it was just the beginning…

…

Asuma Sarutobi's lips curved up in a smile around his cigarette. He leaned against the izakaya's doorway, waiting for Kakashi and Hanare to get close enough so he could greet them and pretend to be surprised they were together.

The roguish jonin smoked happily as he killed time. His scheme had come together seamlessly. Asuma knew no one gave him much credit for brilliance or in-depth thinking, but the son of Hiruzen was as cagey and savvy as his dad was overachieving.

Now that Hatake was off the market, Asuma didn't have any competition for Kurenai. Losing out on a shot to hook up with Hanare was a bummer, of course, but watching how tender Kakashi was with her (as the Man Who Copied a Thousand Jutsus was forced to eat half a discarded dango stick), Asuma knew he'd made the right decision. Kurenai would be all his. And finally Dadkage could shut up about him settling down.

Asuma had put his plan in motion a year ago - floating the idea of a Remedial Class to Hiruzen, knowing Hanare would top that list… Recommending Kakashi as a teacher, figuring Kash would accept after he realized Hanare might end up his student…

Asuma chuckled. Kakashi's latent crush had been so obvious for years. Asuma'd just been afraid that Kakashi, intimidated by Hanare's overt sexiness, would end up with someone more conservative, like Kurenai. He knew from childhood that Kurenai had always found Kakashi physically attractive, and therein lay the danger that Asuma had plotted to circumvent.

He was glad his speculation on Hanare's true feelings had also been correct -sometimes it was hard to tell with outgoing girls but there were little things, subtle tells… that you could look for if you knew people. Asuma loved games like poker and go and chess… This plan had definitely been a winning move.

The younger Sarutobi stepped out into the path, hailing his friends. He'd already told Kurenai to meet him here, to "check out the gossip in action." He'd gotten a good report (in lurid detail) from Genma. Kurenai should arrive any second… then they'd "accidentally" be on a double date with Kaka-Hana tonight… and he'd make sure to do something stupid, and tomorrow he'd take Kurenai flowers as an "apology." Yeah. Perfect.

"Yo, Kash! You wanna - Oh! Ah, hey there, Hanare… Uh, nice to see you, too. Well, um… hey, you guys hungry? Kurenai'll be joining me any minute and this place's got a buy-one-get-one-free happy hour..."

…

 **Scholarship**

Hanare squatted in the garden, looking under leaves for the best squash. She spied a huge one just out of her reach and stretched for it… losing her balance, she started to tip over...

She would've crushed the last late-season strawberries if it weren't for Kakashi catching her under the arms at the last second.

"Could you be more careful," he admonished as he pulled her to her feet. He made sure his wife had her balance, then reached down and retrieved the squash she'd been trying to pick. "Don't want you rolling away, now do we?"

Hanare gave him a venom-laden squint and rubbed her humongous belly defensively. She stuck out her tongue. Kakashi looked mildly interested.

"If you need to do something with that, I'm sure I could come up with something..."

"Ugh," Hanare waved him away, but she looked flattered and blushed nevertheless.

Kakashi held out his hand. Hanare took it, and he helped her step carefully out of the garden over the sprouts and markers and wires. Hanare huffed when she was finally situated back on the little path.

"I'm going to look like Choji forever!" Hanare wailed, out of breath and red in the face. She'd put on at least fifty pounds, and Kakashi thought she was more beautiful than ever.

"Choji's a fine-looking young man. Healthy as a horse. That's what's important. Should I go get barbecue takeout for you and the baby?" Kakashi said, eye crinkling at the corner. He gently poked her belly. Hanare rolled her eyes and giggled, swatting at his hand.

"No, no - I'm making dinner!" she said with a vehemence that would've terrified enemy nin.

"As you wish," Kakashi sighed. He put his arm around her to help her back to the house. "I'll massage your feet after," he said as they started up the garden path.

"Damn right you will… whose fault do think this is, anyway?!" Hanare rubbed her stomach and glared at him. He leaned in and kissed her cheek, nuzzling relentlessly.

"Kakashi!" Hanare tried to push him away but couldn't; she ended up giving in and laughing as he half-carried her inside.

The lamp switched on, casting a warm orange glow on the porch. The neatly raked sand and smooth stones lay peacefully beneath a low maple and a single tall evergreen tree. Behind the paper-screened windows, a silver-haired jonin sat comfortably slouched at the kitchen table, talking with a very rotund kunoichi working at the cutting board. Her dark emerald bun was high and neat; her pale yellow apron stretched like armor across her roundness.

Their voices and laughter drifted out of the windows toward the road, and passers-by who glanced that way saw the softly illuminated carven sign by the door:

 _HATAKE_

 _-heiwa-_

 _Yookoso!_

owata


End file.
